Navigating Parenting: The Balance of Reinforcement and Punishment

Part of parenting is about reward/reinforcement and punishment. So between reward/ reinforcement and punishment, there are Positive and negative Reinforcement and positive and negative Punishment. So in this sense, we can take a look Positive is give or apply and negative is to remove something.

Reinforcement: positive reinforcement/ reward will be giving an extra 1 hour for playing games or getting 5 dollars for doing chores. You might be wondering right now Mr. P what is negative reinforcement. The classic negative reinforcement is nagging, so I reinforce the behavior to remove/stop the nagging, such as getting up to take out the trash so my mom can stop nagging at me.

Punishment: If we think of the same concept positive punishment will be like spanking or hitting and negative punishment will be removing 1 hour of gaming time, time out, or not being able to hang out with friends if the task is not complete.

In the ideal situation, it will be suggested parents engage in positive reinforcement and negative punishment. But that's not to say things like positive punishment can never be applied. I will say spanking is ok as long as a parent is not doing it just to express their anger. So spanking will be when a parent is calm and explains to the children why they are getting spanked. And yes please do not injure them because they will become abused. I know parenting is hard, especially trying to constantly apply positive reinforcement and negative punishment. The common issues I have heard from parents are more about punishment. Negative punishment is differently not easy for parents, but I believe negative punishment can be more sustainable compared to positive punishment.